when defining resilience, the european journal of psychotraumatology stated, “most of us think of resilience as the ability to bend but not break, bounce back, and perhaps even grow in the face of adverse life experiences. the american psychological association (2014) defines resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress” (southwick et al. 2014). this quote reminds me of a moment when i had to be resilient. in 2018 my mother died of stage 4 colon cancer. watching her fight the disease was very traumatic. as the youngest of four i felt as though i was the child that did not get to spend enough time with her. her passing also caused me to face challenges as an adult without the wisdom of my mother. as traumatic as this event in my life was, i chose to remain resilient. i did not allow the grief to rob me of my life. the most difficult season of my life taught me that god is truly a comforter. paul sheds light on this attribute of god as he stated in 2 corinthians 1:3, “praise be to the god and father of our lord jesus christ, the father of compassion and the god of all comfort” (new international version,2011).

to me resilience is the ability to survive when faced with adversity. southwick and charney state, “most of us at some point will be struck by one or more major traumas: violent crime, domestic violence, rape, child abuse, a serious automobile accident, the sudden death of a loved one, a debilitating disease, a natural disaster or war” (southwick&charney,2012, p.1). trauma will happen it is something that can not be avoided. psalm 34: 19 states, “the righteous person may have many troubles, but the lord delivers him from them all” (new international version,2011). job was an example of an individual that experienced trauma yet remained resilient. even as a righteous man job faced tragedy after tragedy with no time to recover. as believers it is important to remember our relationship with christ does not mean exemption from tragedy.

one’s response to tragedy varies depending on the event that they have experienced. it is in these moments that optimism does its greatest work. “optimism is a future-oriented attitude, a confidence that things will turn out well” (southwick&charney,2012, p.36). when reading this definition i realized that optimism is what i reached for after the death of my mother. it does not mean that i never have a moment of grief. remaining optimistic allowed me to look forward to the days when the pain was not as intense.