Collecting Nos

In all settings, there comes a time when we need something from someone else.  It might be an approval, it might be resources, or it might be some form of assistance.  Whatever it might be, it is virtually impossible for us to go through life without the cooperation of others.  And the best way to get what you want from others is to ask them for it.  Yet many people would rather do it themselves than ask someone else.  One reason people are hesitant to ask for things is because they do not want to get a “no”.

A similar problem exists in negotiations.  On the one hand, inexperienced negotiators often are afraid to ask for what they want or need because they are afraid to get a no.  On the other hand those who are asked frequently will not say no, in spite of their strong dislike of the request or having to fulfill it.  Therefore, many negotiations are incomplete because the requester did not ask for enough. Or the respondent actually gave more than he or she wanted to.  Several negotiation experts have argued that negotiation only begins when the other party says no—if you do not get a no you have probably not asked for enough.

The purpose of this exercise is to give you experience making requests and dealing with others objections.  Your task in this exercise is to collect nos.

Part A

Make requests until you have collected 10 nos.  Keep a written record of each request made and the response you receive to each request and what meaning or interpretation you gave to the response.   

Part B

Pick at least one of the requests for which you received a no and ask the person who said no, “What would have to happen for you to say yes to my request”?  Write down what the person says.